Watchmen

When Watchmen came out, it was surrounded by quite a lot of buzz, being the film adaptation of Alan Moore's highly acclaimed graphic novel series that some maintain to be the greatest comic of all time.  After the dust settled, it seemed to be the near unanimous conclusion that Zack Snyder stayed true to the source material, but whether or not that was a good thing was not so unanimous.

Much like Inglourious Basterds, Watchmen is a revisionist history, though for the most part it mirrors the world of the mid 80's when it was first published rather than revisiting a previous era.  The world of Watchmen is one where masked super heroes really do exist, though other than the nuclear powered Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup), it is never made clear whether their powers extend beyond Bruce Wayne esque training and resources.  In this alternate 1985, Vietnam was won and Nixon remains president for a third term due to the Watchmen's actions - the second generation of heroes formed out of the original Minutemen of the 30's and 40's.  By the time the movie opens, however, superheroes have been outlawed with only the Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) and Dr. Manhattan still active under government sanction.  The mysterious Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) has also not given up the (incredibly cool) mask, but works illegally as an underground detective.  It's through Rorschach's accounts that we are aware of the events unfolding.  Rorshach is probably the only character I cared about in this movie, and he was an homage to one of the best and most under appreciated members of the Justice League, The Question.  The beginning of the movie finds The Comedian violently murdered and Rorschach investigating what seems to be someone out to kill off the rest of the Watchmen which includes Silk Spectre (Malin Åkerman), Nite Owl (Patrick Wilson), and Ozymandias (Matthew Goode).

This is a very artistic as well as realistic superhero movie.  The artistic aspect (lifted directly from the pages of the graphic novel) works.  There is some truly inspired and inspiring cinematography.  The realistic aspect, however, does not.  There is certainly something to be said for realistic superhero tales.  It works for Kick-Ass (In the world of comic book movies, realistic is somewhat of a fluid term).  Reality, however, is boring and often confusing, and that's how much of Watchmen comes off.  The gritty realism makes the over the top portions play out in bizarre fashion and what little action existed is too little to keep up any kind of pace. 

The much talked about sex scene is one of the most awkward and undesirable things to watch.  I think one reviewer said something along the lines of "this scene is enough to make geeks hate boobs."  I'm not going to complain about the frequent blue penis - I barely noticed it amidst all the rest of the glowing and it looked very CG anyway.  Excessive male appendages are not this movie's biggest problem.

I understand what makes this story great.  I can see that it came from something amazingly crafted and unlike much else in the genre.  Some things just were not meant to cross over from page to screen though.  The characters lacked development as well as real personalities.  I didn't care about any of them in the least bit, save for Rorschach.  I would pay good money to see a movie centered around that character, but I'm glad I didn't do so for this one.

** (2/5 stars)